Always Have An Idea. Or Two. Or Three…
Stop me if you’ve heard this one before…
In the mid-nineties I was sitting in my studio trying to figure out what I was going to do next as far as my own films. At that point I had made Criminal Justice, my one hour documentary, and three short films, That Really Obscure Object Of Desire, You’ll Change, and Stolen Toyota.
Of course I was in debt from Criminal Justice, but the other films were doing well in film festivals and That Really Obscure Object Of Desire, had already played on PBS.
Now what?
I got a phone call from a woman who identified herself as the program director at a Canadian Television Network. She had seen my short films at film festivals, loved them, and my first person narration style. She wanted to purchase them to air in Canada. That was great!
We negotiated a good price for the three films, she would mail the contracts to me and I agreed to send her broadcast copies the following day via Federal Express. This was before the internet and posting films that could be downloaded.
Then she said…
“So what other films do you have?”
(Pause) “Um, I have three other short films I’m getting ready to shoot.” Which wasn’t true.
“Really. What are they about?”
“Well… There’s one about family vacations growing up and how we did Oregon stuff and I really wanted to go to Disneyland. That’s called… Enough With The Salmon. There’s another about my disastrous high school dating career, called Love The One You’re With, like that old Steven Stills song... and uh …, Um, the last one is about my 1000 mile commute between Portland and Los Angeles for work… I call it Tales From I-5.”
“Really.”
Yes, I made up three film ideas with titles right on the spot. I still don’t know how all of this came to me so quickly.
“Those sound wonderful. Could you send me the scripts with the video masters of the other films tomorrow? Maybe I can help you out in the funding…”
“Sure, no problem.”
I had nothing. How the hell was I going to write three scripts by the following day?
“Ya know, instead of sending you three scripts, how about I send you three one-page outlines for the films. Like I said, they’re all going to be done in the same style as my others. The outlines will give you a good idea on what they’re going to be and how they’re going to look…”
I can’t believe she agreed to this. I was up most of the night writing outlines for these three ideas. I sent everything out the next afternoon and waited.
A few days later she called back.
“The masters look great and I’ll let you know when I’m going to program them. The agreements are going out today with a check.”
“Cool.”
“And I love your new film ideas. When are you thinking about shooting them?”
“Soon. I’m working to raise money right now.”
“Well maybe I can help. How about I put up $5000 for each of the three films? Paying for the broadcast rights, in advance.”
“You can do that?”
“Absolutely. If it’ll help I can send you the money in advance…”
“That would be amazing!”
“The only thing is, you can’t tell anyone I’m actually financing these films.”
“Okay. Just out of curiosity, why?”
“I work for Canadian Television and I’m putting up production money for an American who makes films about his life in America. That wouldn’t go over very well. I can air them, but I shouldn’t be financing them. I really like your work. Can we agree to this?”
Of course I said yes, she sent me the funds and I made all three of those films. After I delivered the three new films, she told me the first three she aired had done really well ratings-wise. I asked her if she thought any of her colleagues at other stations/networks might be interested in airing them? She introduced me to programers at Australian Television. She thought they would love them. And they did and purchased the whole group for broadcast.
I will never forget what a friend of mine in the business told me years earlier. Always have a couple of ideas in your back pocket if you speak to anyone who could possible help you.
Since then, that group of short films has screened all over the world, individually and together.
Now I know I told her that I wouldn’t say anything to anyone about our deal, so she wouldn’t get into trouble. But this all happened over thirty years ago. I’m pretty sure she’s retired and even if she is still working there, there must be some kind of “Statute of Limitations” around this agreement. Don’t you think?
And if you would like to see one of these films, here is a link for That Really Obscure Object Of Desire...
Remember, if you don’t like what I’m writing these days then unsubscribe. And don’t let the door hit you on the way out.
To the rest of you, thank you for reading, subscribing, and supporting me and my writing and filmmaking. I am continuing to heal from my recent health issues. Thank you all for your kind words.
Don’t let the bastards get to you!
For your viewing/listening pleasure, here is a link to me reading an excerpt from my story, Incident At Arrah Wanna. About the time I got busted at church camp for smoking pot. I was fourteen and not much of a role model, even back then. It’s only 3 minutes. Please check it out.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QLEjFvSeh_A
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