Looking Back, Staying In The Present, Feeling Grateful
I am always more interested in what I am about to do than what I have already done. - Rachel Carson
A while back I came across this quote and it fits me to a T. I’m always thinking about what I need to get done and rarely think about what I’ve accomplished.
As I’ve aged, I feel it’s important to take stock of where I’ve been as compared to where I am. I don’t give myself enough credit for the things I’ve accomplished. I’m really bad at patting myself on the back or giving myself a compliment.
I originally wrote this piece 10 years ago. So bear with me as I look back for a bit and see how far I’ve come.
I’m a couple weeks late according to the date, but what the hell…
Labor Day Weekend, 2014
It was thirty years ago (Labor Day Weekend 1984) that I left my job at Will Vinton Productions, that’s what it was called then. We had just finished The Adventures of Mark Twain. I was exhausted, I felt unappreciated, and I had NO money in the bank. I set up my own company and started freelancing.
Thirty years later I’m still exhausted, unappreciated, and always broke! WTF?
I’m also very lucky. I have worked on some great films with Gus Van Sant, Todd Haynes, Michelle Mower, and way too many others to name (you know who you are). I have written and directed eight short films, three features, a bunch of documentaries, tons of commercials, corporate videos, music videos, and just about anything else one could film.
I’ve traveled all over the US, Canada, and Europe and spent a week on an island in the South Pacific. My films have screened all over the world, including retrospectives in San Francisco and Scotland. (My daughter met two Russian Fans of my films in Paris of all places…)
I’ve written and published two books with two more in the pipeline.
And now, 10 years later, it’s 2024.
I will die, but not retire. - Michael Palin
It’s hard to believe it’s been forty years since I left Will Vinton Productions.
I’m still going strong. I think. I’ve survived some major health issues and feel pretty good when I get up in the morning.
I have published three more books and will be bringing out two more in 2025, along with another film. I did a six week US tour in 2017, and continue to work, picture editing and sound design on some amazing independent films. I have made more short films to go along with my books and I have more in the pipeline.
I recently attended my fifty-year high school reunion and I’m glad I did. I got to talk to people that I grew up with and find out about their lives.
No one I talked to was trying to impress anyone else with what they were doing, or had done. I think for most people, trying to impress others probably stopped 20 or 30 years ago. Face it! At this point we are who we are.
My biggest take-away from the reunion was very few people were talking about the high school years being the best of their lives. I was amazed and impressed by some of the things my friends and classmates had accomplished.
Most of us are grateful that we’re still here.
Some people are retired. Some are not. The ones who are not retired are like me, they worked for themselves most of their lives and can’t afford to retire. And like me, most of them still enjoy what they do.
Right now I am sitting at my desk looking over what I need to accomplish today and the list is a mile along. It always is. Some of the projects are works for hire, others are my own. I make time to work on my own stuff every day and continue to move forward on so many things.
For years I just barely got by financially. When my parents passed away they left my sisters and I a small inheritance. I used part of mine to buy a fixer house with my daughter, son-in-law, and granddaughter. Every morning at 6 am I am awakened by my 4 year old granddaughter, who’s ready to play.
It’s a good life and I’m quite happy. When she heads off to day care, I go into my office.
I have to remind myself that I don’t have to be working a fifty or sixty hour work week anymore. I still don’t have a lot of money and my Social Security payment isn’t all that much, (although it’s great to have it), but I have enough to get by. I’ve never lived very extravagantly and I’m guessing it’s a little late to start.
For forty-plus years I’ve been able to live the life that I wanted and work on the things that meant something to me. I have been my own boss for longer than I can remember, and that has made a big difference. I may not have made a ton of money like some of my peers, but I have guided my life and career the way I wanted.
There have been ups and downs, but really I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I take time each day to be grateful for this life that I have. I want to thank all of my friends, colleagues, supporters, and family who have helped, supported, and been there for me and my work all these years. I am very fortunate to have had so many wonderful, crazy, and supportive people in my life. THANK YOU ALL!
I’m looking forward the next 30 years, and with any luck on Labor Day Weekend in 2044 maybe I won’t be tired, I will feel appreciated, and who knows, maybe I’ll even have a couple dollars in the bank?
I am one lucky bastard thanks to all of you!
Thanks for reading. Have a great week.
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